Something has become blatantly obvious to me lately and that is the irony of this blog’s name: Charming Imperfections. One would think by reading that title and description below it that I’m fine with things being less than excellent and don’t mind not having things together all the time. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I confess to being a perfectionist by nature (I credit my Dad for that gene). My claim to finding imperfections charming does not come easily to me, rather it is one of the biggest challenges in my life and the title of this blog is a constant reminder to me that its ok to be imperfect. It is ok that the house isn’t always clean or beautifully decorated. It’s ok that our marriage has its ups and downs and my kid throws tantrums sometimes. It’s ok that I don’t spend every waking minute being productive (this is the hardest one for me).
There are times that I get into a really destructive cycle of having too high of expectations for myself, failing at those impossible ideas, and hating myself for those failures. I’m sure I’m not the only one that struggles with this, so today, I wanted to share 5 ways to embrace imperfection. These are methods and reminders that help me incredibly when I get into the rut of expecting perfection and I hope they are helpful to you too.
- Realize you are loved even WITH all your flaws. There is a God in heaven who created you the way you are and loves you for it. If he wanted us to all be perfect, he would have made robots. Obviously he didn’t do that and doesn’t expect that out of us. I have to tell myself constantly that God still loves me when the house isn’t clean, dinner isn’t tasty, and I don’t have it all together. Not only does God still love me, but the people who matter the most to me do too!
- Understand no one really likes perfection anyway. Perfect homes, perfect bodies, perfect children don’t really leave us feeling better about ourselves. It’s intimidating and frustrating to be around perfection because we all compare, fall short, and hate ourselves for it. So, why strive for that perfection when it’s the imperfections that let us connect and relate to each other on a deeper level. (below is my imperfect house exactly as it is right now. Ugh it drives me crazy, but it’s ok not to be perfect)
- Take a step back. When you find yourself getting angry at something that’s not perfect like a project or house, step away. Make a conscious decision to put it out of your mind, take a break, and replace it with something pleasant. This could mean going outside for a little while to forget about the mess inside, going on a date to get your marriage away from daily monotony, getting a babysitter to refresh yourself as a Mom. Stepping away will allow you to separate enough from your frustrations to gain perspective on what really matters.
- Stop looking at Pinterest and Facebook. Social media can be wonderful and has it’s advantages, but sometimes I wonder at the destruction it can cause. People only post the best of themselves, the happy times in their lives, the beautiful parts of their homes, and their successes and we compare that with the worst parts of our own lives. It can be the most discouraging and damaging thing to a woman who doesn’t have it all together (ie. all of us). Just put your phone down, close the laptop, and look at how beautiful your REAL life is, imperfections and all.
- Allow yourself to be imperfect. This is the most freeing and revolutionary thought I can give to myself. I literally have to sigh in relief when I give myself permission to be imperfect. After all, the expectations to be perfect only come from yourself. God, your family, your friends, and the rest of the world don’t have these expectations for you, therefore the only one that has the power to eradicate them is you! Say it out loud: “It’s okay to be imperfect”. Doesn’t it feel amazing?
Let’s go forward from today and embrace our imperfections! Maybe, just maybe our lives will fill with more relaxation, more laughter and joy, and less stress and self-imposed frustration. Maybe, instead of getting more done, we’ll find happiness in the things we already have done. So, who is with me? Are you ready to reject the expectation of perfection your life?
I’ve shared a few glimpses of my imperfect life. In celebration of our imperfections, lets all share some photos or stories of our imperfections and put some realistic homes and lives on the internet for a change. Comment below, or share on instagram, facebook, or twitter with the hashtag #embracingimperfection. It’s time to start a revolution, who is with me?