The “Get Through” Days

Today I want to share a bit of wisdom learned from my Mom. I have the tendency to expect a lot of myself. I would commit to many things and expect to exceed at all of them. If a job isn’t done perfect, it’s not ready to be finished, was always my line of thinking. Well, there were certain days that my Mom would call the “Get through” days and that has been a lesson that has stuck with me through the years.

What is a “Get through” day? It’s the morning you wake up after tossing and turning all night, knowing you will be exhausted all day. It’s the times you are so overcommitted and stressed out you can hardly catch your breath. These are the days of crippling tragedy and loss. The days when sickness rules your house. “Get through” days are the day when a relationship is breaking and you feel hurt and alone. They are the days that my Mom would tell me, “Just get through today and tomorrow will be better”. I would always feel a huge sense of relief hearing those words because of what they meant.

Those words meant that this was a day that I could allow myself to put down the expectations I hold onto. “Don’t try to over achieve at anything today, just do what you absolutely have to and let the rest go for another day,” Mom would say.

So, I wanted to share with you what to do and what not to do during a “get through” day and how to move on from one. It’s been a lesson that has been so valuable to me and I hope it’s the same for you.

What to Do

• Pray- Tell God how you are feeling and what you are going through. You can’t do this alone and you need His gentle guidance to help you through. Try journaling your prayer and get all those pent up emotions out on paper.

“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” Psalm 34:17-19

• Allow yourself to take it easy- Say it out loud: “Today is a “get through” day and I will allow it to be.” We need to give ourselves permission to have a “Get through” day, because, if you’re like me, you struggle to take care of your own needs over the tasks and chores ahead.

• Rest- Being tired is like a magnifying glass. It makes every emotion and every thought blow up to be huge and overwhelming. You need to sleep and relax in order to see things in the proper perspective and overcome the situation. Sleep in, take a nap, take deep breaths, sit outside for a little while in the sun, do whatever you need to let your body shut down and get the rest it needs.

“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.” Hebrews 4:9-11

• Get a Babysitter- Kids demand so much of you and, though you love them dearly, there are some days that it’s better they go to Grandma’s or a good friend’s house to play. When you are at your wits end on the “get through” days you need to take care of yourself before tending to the many needs of your kids.

What Not to Do

• Overachieve- Don’t try to get the house perfectly clean or cook an amazing meal for supper. Don’t try to finish all your ongoing projects or earn extra money or work extra hard. Just get through the day and address the most urgent tasks.
• Start big projects- Unless your coping mechanism is to planning and creating, stay away from the daunting task of starting a new project. Whether it be planning a vacation, home renovation, a craft, a new meal plan, and a big activity for your kids, if you try to start it now, you’ll only add to your frustration.

• Solve difficult issues- There is only so much that you have the power to change. Picture a small circle within a larger circle. The small one is what you have power over, the larger is things like: the direction the country is headed, the decisions the school board makes, the weather, a friend’s problems, slow traffic, or the failure of a company. Don’t try to solve those issues on a day like this. In addition to those larger issues, try not to address things like a child’s poor behavior, a hurting relationship, your financial situation, or your home improvements. When you are in the depths of despair, attempting to solve things like this will probably only cause them to escalate and increase.

How to Move on

It’s ok to have one or two of these “Get through Days”, but if this becomes a prolonged condition, something needs to change. Here are some ways to move on from a stretch of “Get through” days.

• Counseling- There are wonderful people out there that are so helpful for overcoming huge obstacles in your life. There is no shame in going to see a counselor. They can guide you towards a healthier way of thinking and they are never condescending or judgmental.
• Clear some things off your plate- If you are having “Get through” days because you are stressed and exhausted from all you commitments and obligations it’s time to cut some of them off. Write down all the activities and things you’ve promised to do and decide which ones you can afford to quit.

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42

• Delegate responsibilities- As a Mom, the job of running a household to the standard that you want can be incredibly hard! Don’t feel like you have to do it all yourself. Ask your husband nicely to help out with a few things (keeping in mind that he does work incredibly hard to provide for you and deserves rest also…just don’t give him too much extra chores). If your kids are old enough, have them help out around the house. If you can afford it, hire someone to come in and do some cleaning occasionally.
• Establish Organization- You might be having these “get through” days because your life feels out of control. Take a day to sit down and organize things. You’ll be amazed at the freedom and relief that comes with having a solid plan in place.

• Reconcile- If life is hard because of a broken relationship it’s time to straighten things out with that person. Say a prayer first, then go to that person and humbly address what is going on. Do not go with a spirit of confrontation, but of sincere meekness. Apologize for what you’ve done to increase the void between you and ask for forgiveness. If they will comply and forgive then rejoice in the restoration! But if not, don’t lose hope. Continue to pray for that person and let them know you’ll wait for them, and then leave it in their court. You have done what you need to do and you can stop letting that hurt drag you down.

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” Colossians 3:12-15

 

Y’all, I truly believe life is a beautiful thing. Most of my days are so full of joy that I can’t contain myself, but I won’t deny the fact that some days I just need to get through in one piece. There are days when we feel so tired or sick or sad at what life has dealt us that we need to have a “get through” day of prayer, resting, allowing ourselves to take it easy, and taking a break from the kids. Those are the days when it’s ok to not achieve much, start new projects, or solve difficult issues. But, please remember, if you find you are experiencing a long string of these days then don’t be afraid to see a counselor, clear your plate, delegate, organize, and reconcile.